POV: It's time for breakfast. You call everyone to the table and they come. The kids are dressed and ready for school. Everyone eats what you serve, loads their dishes into the dishwasher, brushes their teeth, grabs their backpacks, and with a minimum of scurrying to grab something they almost forgot, they load into the car.
POV: Time for homework. You sit down to read to the kindergartner, while each of the other kids station themselves in their various rooms to get down to business. You enjoy the time with your 5-year-old, then do whatever--sit on the deck and read, start fixing tomorrow's lunches, chat with your husband, whatever you need or want to do.
POV: It's 7:30 pm. You tell the younger kids to brush their teeth and put on pj's, then you read with them and tuck them in. They can read for a bit in bed if they want to; you go back later and turn out the lights. At 9:00, you remind any of the older kids still doing homework it's time to close the books. They get ready for bed, then come and chat with you before turning in.
POV: It's Saturday. Everybody grabs their own breakfast. They are basically free today, once they've done their chores. They check their individual charts and get after it--they don't want to waste a beautiful Saturday indoors. You're going to do some housework, some errands, then read. The little guys plan to play outside, and the big guys have plans to go rock-climbing with their friends. Nobody is on a sports team, so the pace is relaxed.
Amazing! But, this is standard at your house, right? If not, would you like it to be?
This amazing, peaceful, happy scenario could be your future, if you want it to be, and it wouldn't take some kind of magic wand to make it happen! All it takes is a vision, a plan, and some determination.
You might be thinking, "You don't know my kids! They don't listen to me, they resist doing homework, they're picky eaters, they have attention issues, and anyway, how could we not do sports?"
You have the power to change ALL of this, if you want to. Or you can continue to let each day go by, reacting to whatever your kids do and say, nagging them to eat better, picking up after them, rushing from one activity to another, spending hours "helping" them with their homework each night, always feeling irritated and pressed for time, and trying to remember what it was like to do something you enjoy.
Let's change it! Let me help you paint a different picture! Stop doing the same thing over and over, wishing things were different and slowly losing your mind. (You do know the definition of insanity, right? It's doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different outcome.)
What is most important to you? Would that be family? wealth? promotion? your faith? your marriage? What do you envision for your kids?
You have to start here, by thinking about where you want to end up.
You the mom: it's your home, your family, and these are your kids. At some point they're going to be adults, and the life you're living right now is leading somewhere; wouldn't it be best to have a destination in mind?
Of course, you can't determine how your kids will turn out, but it just makes sense: what you do today, the atmosphere and routines of your home, how you choose to spend your time, the combination of all these things is what will shape your children, day by day, into who they will become.
What if your children saw that you actually decided, based on what you believe is important, certain things would take priority over others in your home, in your family? For example, what if, because you believe a healthy marriage is essential, you refused to let anything take priority over your date night? Your kids see this and they learn something important, yes?
What if, because you prioritized family meals, and you used this time to let your kids see you talk through some big decisions, these same kids grew up to make decisions based on what's right, instead of what everyone else is doing?
What if, because you required them to do chores and get a part-time job, they worked hard to learn a skill, a trade, or a profession, and stayed out of debt? And what if they believed so much in what they saw and experienced growing up that committing to marriage and starting a family was the natural thing to do?
Do you see the power you have?
What kind of future do you want? What would you be willing to give to have that future? Would any price be too high? At the very least, you'd be willing to think it through, wouldn't you?
Get started with an assessment of the things you value most. When you have a clear idea of where you want to go, deciding the road you want to take becomes so much easier! Don't wait another minute to start setting your goals and intentions for your family!
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