Can Scary World Events Have a Positive Effect on Your Parenting?

The world is filled with scary scenarios that can directly affect the way we approach our kids; worry, stress, fear, and anxiety, can seep into our thinking and cause us to be distant or distracted, even if we don't actually talk about specific events.

When we're distracted or distant, our kids try to get our attention by misbehaving, and tend to internalize a sense of fear and anxiety themselves—they sense our fears.

So how can scary world events have a positive effect on our parenting?

By clarifying what really matters, and strengthening our resolve.

Day-to-day life is mundane and repetitious; we can get so used to it that we stop noticing disobedience and disrespect; it's easy to forget why teaching, correcting, and requiring hard things of our kids actually matters.

When we wake up in the morning we're more likely to think more about how we're going to get the kids out the door than about how we're going to build their character.

What if we lived in a war zone? We'd think, "Do they know exactly what to do when the sirens go off—where to go, who to contact and how, what to take and what to leave behind, and what to do when the all-clear is sounded?"

We'd also want to know they had the strength of character to move forward without us: Would they be able to deal with discomfort? Would they have courage and confidence, or be consumed with fear? Would they have any idea how to assume responsibility, find help, figure out how to get food or care for a younger sibling if it came to it?

Thank God, we aren't in this situation, and hopefully we never will be, but the reality is that, war or no war, we don't know the difficulties our kids will face in the future; but this we know—without a doubt, they will have to face hard things.

Pandemics, terrorists, and natural disasters are some of the more frightening possibilities, but let's face it, financial difficulties, marital conflict, and loss of employment are more likely to be part of our children's adult lives, and they require the same intestinal fortitude as war and all the rest. Will they be ready?

The good news? Preparing our kids for hard things doesn't require any new techniques or skills; folks have been facing wars and disasters with courage and resilience since time began. You can probably name family members you admire for doing just that, somehow drawing on reserves they didn't even know they possessed.

BUT they didn't spend hours each day on their phones, they didn't have TV, and life in general was harder; there was more physical work, and their minds were better able to focus in many ways; inconvenience, and not a lot of self-gratification were the norm. Can we say the same about our daily lives? Will this fact hinder our (and their) ability to stand firm in the face of difficulties?

The "old days" were not better, but we should think about how we can help strengthen the character of our children. in ways that may not be as common today. What are the qualities they will need, whatever the future brings? And how can we help cultivate those qualities?

Here's a short list: They'll need the ability to think clearly. They'll need to be able to discern truth from lies, good from evil. They'll need to have some experience with self-denial and delayed gratification, and be unafraid of hard physical work. And of course, self-control and endurance, to be able keep going when it's hard.

Regardless of what happens, or which career they choose they will need all of these; as mothers and fathers, laborers, teachers, or professionals, as they pursue the knowledge they will need for whatever work they will do, and of course, if they serve in the military or if, as civilians, they have to endure the hardships of war.

Take the opportunity now to think through your vision for your children; are you focused on grades and getting them into a good school? Are sports an important part of your family life? What is your life centered on?

Whatever the interests and focus of your lives right now, you can use normal life to cultivate in your children all the qualities listed above!

Not sure how? Let me help!

I have a series of short audio lessons covering all of these things, some free resources, and some inexpensive guides here, here, and here, that give specific instruction in how to cultivate these qualities through normal, everyday family life.

And of course, I'm always available for teaching a class or individual coaching.

We have a fabulous opportunity, but only for a short while, to prepare our children for the future. Let's transform the anxiety we may feel surrounding world events into a renewed commitment to this end.

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