Hey, friends!
I hope all is well with you! I hope your kids are playing happily together while you're enjoying time with your husband, or taking a few moments to have a cup of coffee or tea; the kitchen is clean, the house is in fairly good order, and all is right with your world.
But what if they're not? What if the kids are bickering with each other, or ignoring your instructions to clean their rooms, or they just won't come to the table for dinner?
You may have a consequence problem.
You may know this already, but if your kids routinely ignore you, if you find yourself telling them multiple times to do something, or hear yourself threatening or yelling, then you have a consequence problem.
If you don't use consequences, your rules and requests are meaningless.
And guess what? You're sending the message that they don't have to listen to you, because you don't really mean what you say.
Raise your hand if the following scenario has ever happened to you:
You ask your kids to do something: "Hey, guys, would you put away your toys?" When they ignore you, you try to be more persuasive, or you try to make yourself seem jovial--"C'mon you little crazies, help me out here!" which goes to an irritated "Guys, did you not hear what I said?" to, "How many times do I have to tell you?" then "If you don't put your toys away right now, I'll . . . "
If you haven't given up in frustration at this point, you might yell and say something like, "I said do it, and I mean it! Do it NOW!" Then they say, "Okay, okay! I'm doing it! Don't get in such a huff!" as if you're so mean and they can't believe how you're treating them.
Oh, and then you feel guilty for yelling! Any hands up?
Well, mine is; this happened to me countless times, and it took me a really long time to fix because I really hated conflict with my kids. I wanted to be nice, not mean!
Kids value having their own way, and you losing your cool? Well, it's not a very high price to pay, is it?
Disobedience, breaking the rules, misbehavior--these have to be expensive to them. You must exact a price for this, a penalty or a fine of some kind.
Not only that, but you have to apply the penalty consistently, and without a lot of drama, just like a referee or traffic cop. They don't yell at you, they just blow the whistle, raise the red card, or write the ticket.
It should be easy, but it's not. So, I created a guide to help you. You're welcome!
Click on the link below to get your free pdf, which explains how to deal with different ages and offenses, how to speak, what to say, and has a list of options for various consequences you can use!
Download now to get started letting your kids know you mean what you say!
Hey, I'm cheering for you, and your success in leading your kids!
All the best,
Kaye
Click here for the free guide, "Consequences and How to Use Them"!