I was always the kid who got homesick. I sold enough boxes of Girl Scout Cookies to go to summer camp for free, but I had to leave early because I was so homesick. I was sometimes reluctant to go to friends' for sleepovers because I got homesick. I got homesick at daycamp, and even got homesick when visiting my grandmother! For crying out loud!
Thankfully I grew out of this, but even so, there are still times when I am overcome by feelings of nostalgia, a sense of longing for something I can't quite put my finger on.
I often associate it with the past, remembering sweet days of sunshine, reading to my children, homeschooling, and all that goes with being the mother of young children. Oh, there were definitely days that were very difficult, (even some that I try to forget!), but even as I was going through them I often felt that bittersweet sense that I didn't want to let go of those times!
That feeling was very similar to the feelings of homesickness I'd felt as a child, and I think, in a way, it was kind of the same thing; I longed for my place, that place where I belonged, where I was known and loved and cared for!
When my kids were little, I felt a fierce, overwhelming sense of making sure they felt the same belonging, so that they would never, ever wonder if they were loved or feel worried they might not fit in. I wanted to hold them close and protect them from being hurt or rejected, or made fun of. In a way, they had become my home.
The thing is, kids grow up and leave, and that's the way it's supposed to be; you don't really want it any other way. But if your "home", your place of belonging and being loved is in your kids, this leaving can be devastating.
That's why now, while they're little, is the time to make sure you remember where your true home is. Jesus is our true home. He said, "Lo, I am with you always . . ." and he is. Whether or not we feel close to him, he is always there. If you forget about him, he's still there, even if you forget for a long time, and even if you're tempted to make squishy little humans your temporary home, he's there.
When you think of the future, of that moment in time when you have to let them go, remember your real home. You can tell him you're scared to let go, that you don't want to let go, and you can even ugly cry, and he will be there with you. I promise. And so does he.
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